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Today I’m talking about why we stay in toxic relationships & how to stop having these unhealthy relationships for good by empowering yourself!

I wanted to give some relationship advice for women, specifically for when someone’s mistreating you, because I’ve been there myself. And, I know how hard it can be to see clearly and to stand up for yourself in the moment.

This relationship advice for women can empower you, as you remember just how strong you can be.

And, it’s important that you shine as your true self because the world needs the real you and what you can add to it. So, don’t let anyone take that away from you. Don’t allow someone to mistreat and undervalue you, and most importantly don’t undervalue yourself!

The following is a list of the five main things that we’ll be covering in this blog post…

5 things that’ll help with staying away from unhealthy, toxic relationships are:

  1. Don’t be afraid of being alone
  2. Don’t give your power away
  3. Value and love yourself more
  4. Make a plan for what you want in your life
  5. Step away from victim mentality & into empowerment

Now let’s take a closer look at how to stay out of abusive, toxic, or just unhealthy relationships!

Why we stay in toxic relationships

Have you ever wondered why we stay in toxic relationships that clearly aren’t good for us?

My fellow women, as I mentioned before, I’ve been there. I’ve given all I had in my heart to partners that didn’t fully appreciate and love me the way I did them. And, though I didn’t always know it then, I was miserable.

I got so used to these chaotic and sometimes abusive relationships that I couldn’t clearly see the answers. 

I couldn’t see that though I craved love from these men, underneath it all what I really needed was to love me. But, I’ll talk more about this in a little bit.

The point is that we stay in toxic relationships for different reasons. And it’s good to do the inner work, taking a good look at ourselves, to see why. This can be difficult to do at first, but it’s definitely worth it and will change your life.

Healing ourselves to avoid bad relationships

Part of that inner work that we need to do involves healing ourselves, and this will help us avoid bad relationships in the future. So, it’s very important!

You know, we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge as an issue. So if you’re often in relationships that leave you unfulfilled and feeling bad, please admit that this isn’t helping you and think about what could be causing it.

We often go through things in life that damage and change us, and we need to heal these parts of ourselves. And after allowing that healing to take place, life is so much better!

So take a look and see if there’s any possibility that you have lost confidence, self-value and self-worth, and self-love. Then, if this could be the case, acknowledge it with love. Choose to do what you have to do in order to start accepting, valuing, and loving yourself more. And then, decide to stop allowing what no longer serves you.

The result will be priceless!

How to stop being in unhealthy, toxic relationships

Now it’s time to look at those five specific tips for how to stop being in unhealthy, toxic relationships.

These are very empowering tips that helped me go from being consumed by unfulfilling, unhealthy, bad relationships to feeling great on my own and being unwilling to settle for less than I know I deserve. So, I hope they help you too!

I hope these tips help you understand why we stay in toxic relationships but also how to be okay without them and not accept them anymore.

Let’s get started.

#1 Don’t be afraid of being alone

What I want to say right now is something I wish I could say to my old self, and that is don’t be afraid of being alone!

Sometimes, without knowing it, we’re afraid of being alone too much and having to deal with ourselves – or I should say our inner selves. Our inner selves that crave everything we thought we didn’t get enough of as a child, maybe from someone in particular. Our inner selves that crave love but don’t even know yet how to love themselves.

Our inner selves that may be full of insecurities that we try to cover up, with a brave face. And, our inner selves that are so full of hurt from our lives that we don’t even dare to open that box.

But, if those of us that suffer from these kinds of things can finally be brave enough to spend some time alone with ourselves we might find that it isn’t that bad after all!

So my relationship advice for women who are being mistreated, in an unhealthy relationship, or just unhappy is to seriously consider spending quite a bit of time alone. Whether that be as a “break” or parting ways. 

Of course, please do only what you feel in your heart is right for you. And, by that I don’t mean what’s most comfortable, because sometimes for change to come we have to get out of our comfort zone. 

But, know that if you choose to go this route and you really spend time looking within and getting to know and talk with the real you (as well as your creator, if you’re spiritual), you will no doubt love the results. 

You may just find yourself happier and no longer allowing less than what you deserve.

You know, this reminds me of a saying I once heard that says I’d rather be miserable alone than miserable with someone else. And now that I know what I know, I wish I could tell my past self this and say that the pain of being alone will pass and will in fact turn into a blessing!

#2 Don’t give your power away

My next tip to understand why we stay in toxic relationships and how to stop is to not give your power away. 

Sometimes we think we need someone to make our lives better or to complete our lives, just like many fairy tales (that I love by the way) seem to push us toward. But do we really need anyone or anything else to complete us, or does that come from within?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I see the full value in having a partner for various reasons – just not at the expense of losing one’s self, self confidence, self love, or self respect. Not anymore.

I don’t know if you’re a spiritual person or not, but if you are think about this. When you leave your body and leave this world, will you most likely go alone or with your partner? Will you take distractions and items with you, or will you instead take your “inner self”.

Perhaps if we get to know ourselves while here on earth, make peace with our inner selves, and feel complete as ourselves, it’ll be even easier on us later. Of course, I don’t know this – it’s just a hunch. Either way, only good can come from it.

But, I want to say this. 

If anyone has ever said or made you feel that you aren’t enough on your own, they were very wrong! They don’t know what you’re made up of inside. And, if it’s you that thinks this way then perhaps you don’t know. So, let me tell you. You’re full of divine light inside – light that you will take with you, light that can guide you, and light that is more special than you can imagine. 

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Now, how can that not be enough? It’s more than enough! 

You are more than enough all on your own, and you may have capabilities, strength, and wisdom inside that you aren’t yet aware of. So, don’t give your power away. Don’t lessen yourself for anyone, whether it’s someone you’re in a relationship with or not. 

And let it be that if you are going to be in a relationship, you choose (notice I said you CHOOSE) a person that adds to your life in a positive way – like icing on a cake! The cake itself is yummy, but the right icing can be a nice addition. ; )

#3 Value & love yourself more

Please, please, please, love yourself first and love yourself more. What I mean is, make yourself a priority! 

You are important and valuable, and you deserve the best. Repeat after me, I (insert your name) deserve the absolute best. And say it again. And again. Until you really feel it inside your heart – inside your soul.

You may, without realizing it, think that it’s most important to think of others and that it’s even good to sacrifice for others. But, is it really?

If you sacrifice your love for yourself to make others happy or for any other reason, does it really help enough to be worth it? 

If you cannot or do not value and truly love yourself, it will show. And, if this is the case you’ll also have less to give others anyway.

Think about it. 

Remember the saying that you have to fill your own cup to be able to fill other’s? Or the many other ways it’s been worded? If you don’t give to yourself you won’t have as much to give others. So, fill up your cup! Allow yourself love, true love – from yourself and from others. And, don’t accept less. Don’t accept less than what would be considered true, unconditional love – kind words, kind treatment, and time spent on you!

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And, don’t judge yourself and don’t accept hard or cruel judgment from others. You deserve better. Yes, no matter what you’ve done or been through in life you deserve better. (By the way, it’s important too to let yourself off the hook and forgive yourself because everything here on Earth is meant for learning and growing – so learn and release.)

#4 Make a plan for what you want in your life

For this next tip for staying out of unhealthy, toxic, or abusive relationships, I’m going to suggest that you make a plan for what you want in your life.

Make a plan about what you really want for your life, and don’t accept anything less anymore!

Maybe before you didn’t have a solid idea or plan for what you wanted, and that’s okay. But…

Without a plan anyone will drift – in the wrong direction and toward the wrong people and things. So, make a plan (maybe even written), and let yourself get excited about it! Embrace the feelings of hope, and maybe even peace, that it gives you. And, think of it like a blueprint – but a blueprint for your life.

Time here on earth will go by faster than you even realize, and if you’re like most you’ll end up wishing you did some things differently. 

So, why not get a good idea of what you’d like for your life and have a chance of getting it closer to what you’d really want for yourself? Why not make the best, or the most, of it?

And, you may need or want to adjust some things on your blueprint along the way and that’s okay. But, at least you’re not flying blind!

When we’re younger we often don’t think of the bigger picture. We’d prefer to live in the moment, and living in the moment can be great and even advisable. But, we must also take time to look at the bigger picture and the purpose of things.

So, go finish reading this and then go make that life blueprint of how you’d like your life to go, what you’d like in it, and even what you won’t allow in it (because it would throw you off course).

#5 Step away from victim mentality & into empowerment

Our final tip for why we stay in toxic relationships and how to stop is to try to step away from any kind of victim thinking and step into self empowerment.

And, I don’t say this lightly or in a negative way! Like I said, I’ve been there. So, this isn’t in any way meant to make you feel bad, to make light of a situation, or to let someone mistreating you off the hook. Not at all.

In fact it’s the opposite of that last part, because…

When you become self empowered you just simply won’t allow anyone to mistreat you and still regularly be in your presence. You’ll value yourself too much!

I just know that years ago, when I’d allow someone to be in a relationship with me no matter how they treated me, I wasn’t realizing that I had more control than I thought I did.

I often felt powerless, because I couldn’t change them. And, I felt bad about me because I thought I wasn’t worth enough in their eyes for them to want to change for me or treat me better. But, now I can see more clearly.

And, you will too!

You’ll see that you’re worth so much more and that you’re in control, creating your life. You’ll learn that you don’t have to settle for what life seems to throw at you (or what someone wants to give or not give) – that you can choose! You can make a life blueprint and get in line with it so that YOU decide what fits into your life and what does not. 

So, please please please…

When you find yourself thinking like a victim would, like things are just happening to you and you have no control, turn it around quickly! This is your magic!! Your ability to seize control with all of who you are inside and take the reins is your magic. And, if you do any less you aren’t using all of your capabilities.

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Nothing is worth losing your inner peace. Take back your life!

Your ability to take a deep breath, stop crying and feeling sorry for yourself, and take back your life is your power! And, I say this as one who has been there and one who sends you love and cares.

Because if I had known my true value and my true strength many years ago, I could’ve saved myself so much heartache. Heck, I could’ve been living a life that I love, being truly happy and fulfilled from the inside, a whole lot sooner! (BUT, then I wouldn’t be as able to sit here writing this to help and inspire you.)

If anything I’ve said sounds harsh, I hope you stayed this long to hear me say that I’m only trying to make you stronger.

I’m only trying to help you rise above all the chaos of the world and all that isn’t meant for you, so that you can grab what IS meant for you. And, that is all the good that your heart desires!

What I’ve learned most, for myself, is that nothing at all is worth not having peace in my life and within myself. But, it took me a lot of time alone with no relationship, a lot of thinking, and a lot of listening for divine guidance (because I was desperate and finally knew nothing else could help me at that point), before I learned all of this.

When you step outside of the storm, you can think better and see better than inside of it. When you fly high as an eagle you get a bird’s eye view and can then see the big picture. Always remember this in life. Get out of the storm, & fly high like an eagle.

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Conclusion: Why we stay in toxic relationships & how to stop them

I hope you’ve found this helpful and that you have a better understanding of why we stay in toxic relationships, and even more importantly how to stop being in them. I wrote it from my heart to yours, and I pray you’ll be given strength, clarity, and much self love!

With issues in life & relationships, don’t forget to:

  • not be afraid of being alone
  • not give your power away
  • value and truly love yourself
  • forgive yourself (a form of self love)
  • make a blueprint for your life
  • stand strong & be empowered from within
  • get an eagle’s eye view of your situation

(And of course, seek professional help if you need it or if you fear for your safety.)

Also, in case you’re unsure if you’re in a toxic or unhealthy relationship, I want to add that Very Well Mind has a medically reviewed article titled Signs That You’re In an Unhealthy Relationship. I definitely think this can be helpful, because sometimes we doubt ourselves or want to make excuses for others. So, check it out if you think it could help!

Put yourself first, stay out of bad relationships that don’t make you feel good, and always take care of yourself!

Helpful links for women

If you liked this blog post on why we stay in toxic relationships & how to stop them, you should check out my post called Your Self Love & Why It’s Lacking. In it I ask if you’re loving yourself by making good decisions that add peace, fulfillment, & happiness to your life. And basically, I guide you to finding self love. So, click its title above to start reading!

You might also be interested in my Daily Self Love Journal for Women for Affirmations & Journaling. It has a space for quick journaling & for affirmations, only takes minutes from your day, includes an uplifting poem, and helps you build yourself up & shine. So, click its title above to check it out on Amazon!

Thanks for reading. You’re appreciated!

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