If you’re feeling like a bad parent or having parent guilt, the tips and inspiration in this blog post will help!

Let’s be honest and say that feeling like a bad parent sucks. To a parent, it’s one of the worst feelings in the world. But if you’re feeling this way you’re in the right place, because today I’m talking about this subject honestly. And, I think this will help you feel better!

I’m a mom myself and, like you, I love my child more than anything. But I’ve had days that didn’t leave me feeling like the best mom, maybe even with a little mom guilt. And, we moms (and other parents) can be so hard on ourselves!

We love our kids so we want to be great moms (or parents), perhaps even perfect parents. But, striving to be perfect only puts more pressure on us and makes us harder on ourselves. So, what do we do? Well, we can start with not over-analyzing things, taking a break, and finding fun things to do with our families.

So, stop thinking so much about what could be making you a bad parent. It’s more important to feel good, think positively, turn things around, and keep moving forward. After all, your child(ren) want a happy parent – not one that’s beating up on herself (or himself).

I know that being a parent isn’t always easy, but you aren’t alone (even if it feels like it). There are tons of us who get how you’re feeling, including me.

So let’s talk more about what’s helped me with my mom guilt so you can start feeling better, too!

Get five tips for dealing with mom guilt when it comes to work and kids!

(There might be affiliate links in this blog post that I could receive a commission from. If so, I’ll only include those I feel are helpful to you!)

Feeling like a bad parent? Lighten up on yourself

First, let’s talk a little about feeling like a bad parent and why we need to lighten up on ourselves a bit.

You know, earlier I said to stop thinking so much about what could be making you a bad parent. And, you might’ve thought…

But I’ve done this or I don’t do that enough. How can I not think about it and how will that help?

Well, let me explain.

You, like me, have an idea of how you think a mom (or parent) should behave and what you think she should get done. And, sometimes you give yourself a “bad grade” (and start feeling like a bad parent). 

But, here’s the thing…

You can’t expect constant perfection from yourself unless you’re willing to expect total perfection from the entire world, and none of us are perfect! For that matter, nothing in life is perfect.

That’s why allowing yourself to feel forgiveness for yourself and others often is important. Otherwise, life can get very disappointing and stressful, and you can become a very overwhelmed parent fast.

So, while it’s good to have goals and standards and to try to be your best, don’t put way too much pressure on yourself and drag yourself down. Trust me, I’ve had headaches and body pain, all from not letting myself off the hook and never taking things lightly.

I’ve heard it said like this before – don’t take yourself too seriously.

And, I love that! When I think of this it reminds me to lighten up a little and to just let things be imperfect sometimes.

Overthinking being a bad parent or failing as a parent

Now, let’s talk about those times when we’re overthinking being a bad parent or feel like we’re failing as a parent.

One thing that really gives me mom guilt at times is overthinking things. But, I’ve found that I have a choice. 

I can either keep overthinking things and let them spiral out of control, giving me a headache and more problems, or I can switch my focus to something else.

So, if this happens to you just try to switch your energy or thoughts to something more beneficial or more positive.

Don’t continue to dwell on feeling like a bad parent or like you’re failing as a parent, because it won’t help. And if it won’t help, what’s the point? 

This is a lesson I’ve learned a little late in life. I used to dwell on things a lot more and focus on my feelings more. But, I’ve seen the damage that that can do – and I much prefer the benefits of positive thoughts and actions.

It can be hard to do, and I’m not perfect. But, I find that just being aware and making an effort to do this improves things.

So, switch your focus by getting up and doing something instead of thinking. Or, maybe you’re tired and need a break and some relaxation. And, another thing that helps to get out of a bad mood and negative feelings is to go have fun as a family!

When you’re having feelings of being a bad mom or parent, try to think of some things that would help you to start feeling and thinking better.

This will help you to be able to turn things around quicker each time.

feeling like a bad parent

When you have parent guilt, have fun instead!

Now let’s talk about having parent guilt, and how deciding to just have fun for now can help!

Earlier I mentioned finding something fun to do as a family, because it really helps for different reasons.

You might not feel like getting out and having fun when you’re feeling bad and are full of parent guilt, but I’ve found that if I make myself I’ll feel a lot better.

It switches my focus because I’m then busy doing stuff, laughing or smiling, instead of thinking so much – which is much better.

But it also helps you feel better as a parent, regaining that confidence in yourself, because you’ve then done something that you feel is good for a parent to do!

In your mind, you’ve scored yourself a “good grade” for at least something that day. 

So, having fun with your kids can be good for you and for your family in different ways. Try it! The next time you’re feeling bad because of arguing with the kids or getting on to them a lot, call break time and go have fun outside or do something different inside. 

Then, you’ll be having fun instead of dwelling on being a bad parent.

This has helped me many times, and it really lightens the mood for everyone. It just leaves everyone feeling better!

Comparing ourselves to other parents

Have you ever noticed that when you’re feeling like a bad parent you feel like you’re all alone in it, like you’re the only bad mom or parent in the world?

And, do you compare yourself to other so-called good parents? I’ve become more aware of how I do this, and I don’t think it helps. 

We see videos of mostly perfect parents, plus neighbors or others we know who appear to be nearly perfect parents, and we compare ourselves to them. (At least I know I have.) And the truth is, they aren’t perfect at all. No one is!

But, people don’t always walk around trying to show everyone every part of their lives, messy and all.

So we’re comparing ourselves as parents, and our lives with our children, to the lives of others when we’re not even seeing their total lives! We’re expecting perfection, to be like others, who aren’t really perfect at all.

And, in our minds, we’re putting ourselves in a “different” box, like we aren’t as good or aren’t okay. We’re putting ourselves down. And, we’re making ourselves feel all alone in a big world of awesome mothers and parents, because we just aren’t cutting it.

This is not okay!

You’re an awesome mother (or other parent), because you’re still going – because you care. You care enough to be reading this blog post about parenthood. That’s awesome! So, give yourself some credit.

failing as a parent

We all have these feelings as parents

When you’re feeling down as a parent, I want you to remember that we all have these feelings as parents at times.

Give yourself some credit and realize that there are tons of moms and other parents out there, and the likelihood that many of them aren’t feeling like you is slim.

You aren’t alone. And if you still aren’t sure about that or think you’re the worst, join an online parent group and listen to what they’re talking about. We’re all experiencing similar things, so we should discuss things so that we don’t have to feel as alone in it.

I think that if you can just see that we all feel that way sometimes and that it’s normal, you’ll get through these times a lot easier!

And, at the top of this page you’ll see a “forum” link for women. I created it because I felt that women often feel isolated with no one to talk to about these things, so if you’re a woman needing a supportive community feel free to join in!

Closing thoughts: Don’t let feeling like a bad parent get you down

I hope this has been helpful and that you’re no longer feeling like a bad parent or like you’re failing as a parent. And don’t ever feel like you’re alone, because most of us go through the same things and we understand. 

Keep moving forward, allow yourself forgiveness, don’t overthink, and don’t forget to have fun!

Remember the saying of don’t take yourself too seriously, and realize that it’s okay if things, or you, aren’t perfect all the time.

Also, allow yourself permission to spend some time on you. It’ll be time well spent, because when you take care of yourself you then have more to give. So don’t feel guilty about your “me time”.

And lastly, you’re a parent but you’re also just a person – and, no person can be perfect. But, this is a good thing. Because, wouldn’t life be boring and drive you crazy if everything and everyone were perfect and the same all the time?

Actually, the truth is that you’re a good parent because you care about your child. And, that’s what matters most! So the best we can do is show our children that we care and do our bests to care for them, moment by moment.

Additional resources

If you enjoyed this blog post, I think you’ll also like my post called How to Be an Independent Woman & Live Your Best Life. In it, I’ll give you five unique ways to improve yourself so you can feel better about yourself & your life!

And, here is an online Avon shop with some of my favorite products!

If you’d like to support the mission of Abundant Life & Balance to spread positivity, or say thanks through a donation that’ll buy a coffee, you can send it through PayPal at: paypal.me/abundantspirit

Thanks!


Abundant Life & Balance

Helping empower you to live a life you love!

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